Sticky: NaNo Progress

Wintry Mix

Tell me, how long does it take you to scrape a nice thick layer of ice off your car?

It took me about ten minutes this evening before I could get the windshield cleared off well enough to be able to head home from work. Thankfully, the roads weren't too icy yet. Yesterday at this time, it was still about 60 degrees. Now, it's somewhere below 30 degrees. Brrrr.

I am not ready for this cold stuff--not at all!!!

And we're supposed to get snow overnight. Wahoo.

Winter Storm Warning!?

The weather has been extremely mild since about the middle of last week, with temperatures in the 60s. However, apparently sometime tomorrow, the weather will be turning wild and wacky, with Old Man Winter plotting to dump 6-12 inches of snow on some areas around here. Temperatures will plunge, with highs in the 30s, and lows in the teens.

Wahoo.

We were planning on going out this weekend, maybe to see "The Fountain," but if the weather turns bad, we will have to keep DD at home, instead of taking her to MIL's house, which is over an hour away now since they moved. :(

I have nearly all of my Xmas shopping done already; did I mention that? Going shopping last weekend got me started, and I think I only have a few more things left to purchase. Hopefully, this will continue to be a stress-free holiday season.

Tooth's Out—Finally!

Well, the kid's tooth finally came out today while she was at school. She said that she worked it back and forth until it finally came out. I'm certainly glad it's over for the moment. I told her yesterday I didn't want to deal with a major mental meltdown over every single tooth that gets loose.

I forgot to take my journal along with me today. I felt naked without it. Somehow, I had set it down on the couch, put my shoes on, and then forgot to pick it up to put in my bag before heading out the door to work.

I usually spend some time on my lunch break writing a few notes or whatever strikes my fancy. The pages add up that way. So of course, today, without the journal, I really wanted to write something, but couldn't. If I had my journal with me, I may or may not have even written in it. But you know how it is: when you don't have something, you would like to have it that much more.

I didn't write last night. I was really tired for some reason. I very nearly fell asleep on the couch, but managed not to. Then I went upstairs to bed and read for awhile. I'm reading a book called "Labyrinth" by Kate Mosse. It's a book about the search for the Holy Grail. I've had it checked out from the library for a couple of months now; I keep renewing it. However, I need to get it read. I'm sick of looking at it. I also have two other books that I've renewed a lot of times. I doubt I finish them all this week, but it would be nice to get through two of them, if I can.

This month is almost over. I'm glad. For some reason, I have been less motivated to write here at the end of the month. At the same time, I am not ready for November to be over yet. The time has really flown. I can hardly believe Nanowrimo is over. Last night, I was pondering what work-in-progress I might attack next. I hope to spend some time revising my Nano 2006 story so that I can get my free copy from lulu.com. It is definitely NOT printer-ready the way it is. One entry is mostly nothing but rambling. One entire chapter needs to be completely rewritten; otherwise, my main character cannot possibly get pregnant--which that is a key plot point in the later chapters. I have bracketed notes throughout the entries, about stuff I need to look up or reconcile, or change. All that stuff will have to be gone through and reworked. So it's not just a matter of uploading the manuscript I have written now. Work, work, and rework some more. Isn't that how it always goes?

Loose Tooth Meltdown

DD has had a second loose tooth for several weeks now. This morning, it was hanging by a thread. Did she pull it out? Did she let us help her pull it out? No. She proceeded to throw a fit for approximately 15 minutes. My personal favorite part was when she screamed "help, help!" when DH was trying to see how loose it was.

We were all in tears.

Sigh.

By the time I got home from work, the loose tooth still hadn't come out, and she told us she misplaced her lunch money for the week. Double sigh.

I keep wondering if life will ever get any easier.

Finished!

Well, as you can see by the little sticky post dated Nov. 30, I am an official Nanowrimo winner, with 55,058 words, as verified by the verifier thingy on the website.

Yay!!! I have worked so hard to get to that point. My story is even completed, not just 50,000 words. Sure, it needs a heck of a lot of work, but the important part is that I have a rough draft of something that could be shaped into something better.

I also cannot believe it's nearing the end of November. Time flies when you're trying to write 2500–3000 words per day.

This is my second Nano completion in five attempts, and it sure has encouraged me to take a look at those Nanos I did not finish. My other year of success was 2004, and although I met the 50,000 goal, I did not actually complete the story. So this year, for me, was a double success: I surpassed my previous word count AND I completed the story. It has a real beginning, middle, and end. I can't help but be quite proud of my accomplishment.

Shopping

Not too busy out there today. I was able to get around without too much hassle. I got through the lines quickly. I was able to find decent parking spaces wherever I went. I even got home by 1pm. Yay.

In the evening, we rented and watched two movies: "Over the Hedge" and "The DaVinci Code." "OtH" was a cute animated film about a group of foraging wild animals who wake up from hibernation to find that a huge hedge now separates them from where they used to gather food. Unfortunately, what's on the other side of that hedge is now a subdivision where people live. A ne'er-do-well raccoon, by the name of RJ, needs to gather junk food for a bear he stole from. So he persuades the foragers to gather food, only they believe he is helping them. Antics ensue. It's a really cute movie and DD enjoyed it.

"Code" is based on the book by the same name. I thought the book was mediocre, and although the film tries to tell a good story, I think it's hampered by some of the book's esoteric ideas. If I recall correctly, some of the paintings referenced and the puzzles the two main characters had to solve were left out of the film. It was already long enough, but in spite of the film's length, I never felt like I was watching the clock the whole time, wondering when it was going to be over.

Kicking Back

Well, the kid seemed better today, after feeling worse yesterday. We had nice weather on Thanksgiving Day, with temperatures in the 60s, and so DD spent all afternoon playing outside at my mom's house with her cousins.

I think she was worn out, but we still had another family gathering to attend. She tried to doze on the couch, but with all the people around talking and laughing, it was too noisy. We didn't stay too long at my in-laws' gathering; when it got dark, nearly everyone headed home.

We took leftovers home from my mom's and ate some when we got home; the rest we ate today. All the food was good, as usual, and there were no cooking disasters. I only wish we didn't have to rush around to different places, but that's what we usually have to do.

Today, I spent about three hours total throughout the day working on finishing up my Nano. I think I am finally in the last chapter. It feels great to get this far.

Tomorrow, DD & I are braving the post-TG crowds and going shopping. Should be good to get out of the house; the weather promises to be nice, with temperatures still in the 60s.

I was glad to just kick back and relax today, and DD took a nap this morning, so I think that helped her. She seemed more like her regular self today, actually wanting to eat and playing with her toys. I almost forgot she was here once, when she was so quiet upstairs playing in her bedroom. She was making me a pretend unbirthday cake. We happened to watch Disney's "Alice in Wonderland" today.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

Thursday 13—#15

Thirteen Reasons I like Thanksgiving the turkey dinner with all the trimmings day off from work family time with DD & DH pumpkin pie and Cool Whip feeling thankful when I return home that I have this life rather than someone else's start of the holiday season four-day weekend a chance to reflect on my blessings getting caught up with relatives' lives a day to kick back and relax and not worry about the regular crap of my life, but instead, laugh at my relatives anticipation of Christmas everyone seems a bit happier at this time of leftovers! Happy Thanksgiving!

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Anxious

It's Wednesday, and I was so anxious all day for the workday to end so I could start my four-day weekend. Last year, my sister and I went shopping on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, but I know I won't be doing that this year.

DD is sick with some sort of plague--again--and so she needs to rest. She should have stayed home from school today, because she said she felt awful and was coughing a lot, but we doctored her up with some Children's Tylenol and she went to school anyway. They got out early at 2pm, so at least she didn't have to sit through the entire day.

I think I'll just be taking it easy this weekend. We have two family gatherings to go to on TG day, and then another one on Sunday. I might go shopping on Saturday, if DD feels up to going along. I would like to get my Xmas shopping done for the kids in the family. I told everyone I was only buying for the kids this year, like it or lump it. :) I have no idea when we'll put up our Xmas decorations. DH usually gets that all organized but he's going to be working on Friday, so I have no clue.

Actually, I plan to take it easy this entire holiday season. Last year I went absolutely crazy, trying to buy stuff on Black Friday, and then feeling like I still hadn't gotten enough stuff. And then I had the post-buying guilt of buyer's remorse, and am still paying off stuff from last year. :) Then on Xmas Eve last year, I worked hard making several batches of homemade cookies that no one seemed to appreciate the next day at the family gatherings, so I decided that this year, when I make cookies, it's going to be a couple of batches of oatmeal cookies and that's it. Like it or lump it.

The Bitter End

Looks like a lot of people have dropped out, while cruising the Nano forum postings. People on the forums started off at a tremendous pace, much like I have done throughout the beginning of Nanowrimo, but it seems like once they learned how doing 4,000 or 5,000 words per day caused them to burn out, they quit writing.

I also read posts from people who described how their lives were interfering. I remember back in that first time I achieved Nanowrimo's goal, in 2004, I had many entries that I had to catch up on because I was 'too tired' to write, or whatever. What I learned from doing this Nano, however, is that it's much more motivating and inspiring to write every day, even if tired.

I watch that blue bar on the website grow ever closer toward 50,000 and I keep on keeping on. It helped, too, that this year, I had my chapter-by-chapter breakdown. I never had to sit and wonder what I was going to write about because all I had to do was look at my 'outline.' There are still nine days left in this month, and I will still continue to write every day on this story. I had thought I might do two Nanos; I had it planned out that way, but I was never quite able to do 3,000 words per day, which is what it would have taken. So at least I will get this one completed by the end of the month, which has been my true goal all along.

Blogger was down

Couldn't post. Didn't feel like writing. Plan on going to bed early. Still have 3000+ words to go before I'm done with Nano. More tomorrow.

The Crazies

The Crazies arrived today. I woke up tired, exhausted, in pain, and totally out of sorts. And the day just got worse. It was my mom's birthday and when I tried to call her, at 9 a.m. no less, there was no answer. I couldn't figure out where she might be, other than maybe at work, so I tried her workplace, and it wasn't open yet, so there was no answer there. I took a shower and while trying to relax, I decided to call my sister after I was finished. Maybe she knew where Mom was. So, I called her phone number and my brother-in-law said that my sis and mom were shopping. I called my sister's cell phone, and FINALLY got to talk with my mom. Wahoo. This crap put me in a terrible mood all day.

Got 1272 words written today. That puts me over 47,000. Wish I could be more enthusiastic about it.

Stalled

I guess I wrote so much yesterday that today kind of stalled out. I still managed to crank out 1,110 words, which puts me over the 46,000 mark. I almost wasn't going to bother, but the more I sat on the couch and vegged out, the more disappointed I knew I would be if I didn't at least make an attempt. I then decided that the attempt had to be at least 1,000 words. So I typed--on my story, too!--until I made that count, and then tossed in the towel for today.

Tomorrow I shall make 50,000! Yay me!

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Took the day off today to have a break and also to take DD to school and pick her up. I wrote a little over 4,000 words in 3-ish hours (wrote from 9:30-11 and from 1-2:45), and have surpassed the 45,000 mark. Yay me! Sometime this weekend, I will have reached the 50,000 word count for Nanowrimo. My story may not be finished, but I will try to get it complete by the end of the weekend, even if it takes over 50,000 words.

Thursday 13—#14

Thirteen Reasons I'm Tired Today cold, wet, grey rainy day kid was up in the night, afraid of high winds; I never did get back to sleep. long day at work stayed up until nearly 2a.m. on early Tuesday morning finishing "The Husband," a 400-page book by Dean R. Koontz about a guy whose wife is kidnapped (I wanted to find out how it was going to end!), that was two weeks overdue at the library long daily commute stayed up late last night getting my daily word count done for Nanowrimo haven't slept well all week (felt anxious) dogs need to go out early get up early every day to go to work, and on weekends, because DD can't stay in bed past 6:30a.m. maybe I ate too much for supper and have lapsed into a food coma spent too much time worrying over stupid crap that doesn't matter too many dreams that make it feel like I've been traveling all night sleeping too hard so that when I wake up an hour after I go to bed, it feels like it's time to get up already, and then after going back to sleep, waking up exhausted

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600th Post!

Happy 600th Post to me!

Thanks for reading!

Renewal

Wow. No "Lost" tonight. I hardly knew what to do with myself. Instead of watching "Lost," I decided to work on my NaNo, but I seem to have come to a plateau. The initial excitement of getting started is wearing thin. I have a little over 40,000 words and there are still two weeks left to write! I think that I will get much closer to the end of my story by the weekend, since I've been writing about 4,000 words on each weekend day. Maybe I'll even gain the 50,000 mark by then. I'm not sure if my my story will be finished by 50,000. I'm not stopping with 50,000 even if my story isn't finished. I'm in chapter 9 of approximately 14 chapters (I ended up combining two planned chapters earlier in the story, and it looks like chapters 9, 10, & 11 may be combined also.)

So as I was saying, the initial motivation is waning. I sat here earlier this evening trying to get the fingers flying across the keyboard, but it was a difficult slog. I cleared out a bunch of stuff today, old emails that I had saved from years ago; old stories; old notes. Sure, maybe I shouldn't have gotten rid of those old stories, but I decided that I could (and would) write better ones. I'm a different person now than I was years ago--thankfully. I was calculating up how many journals I've written in this year, and my total page count came to 2760; that's 860 more pages than I wrote last year. I was amazed at my progress when I added up all the numbers. Not all of that is wonderful stuff by any stretch of the imagination, but each volume is like a new me. When I leaf back through them, I remember who I was then, at a certain point in time. This year has been a real turning point for me. I have been very stressed out lately, and remembering where I was in November 2005 as compared to where I am now in life, I gained a new perspective: everything is as it should be. I should stop fighting against the current of my life and go with the flow.

2007 is going to be my year of victory.

Ebay & Me

Last night, I ended up quite resistant to writing, so I ended up rambling on and on just to make 1,667 words so that I could log off the computer and go write in my journal instead.

Speaking of journals, I love to look at some of the ones for sale on ebay. I really like the leather ones. But let me pause for a moment and talk about descriptions:

Number one, I want the measurements to be standard, i.e., 5x7 or 8.5x11; none of this millimeter and centimeter crap.

Number two: when listing a journal, give an approximate number of pages.

Number three: give as many details in the description as possible: lined or unlined? Leather? Cloth? Paperback? Size? Page count? Do not just write: BRAND NEW! and then expect ME to figure out from the picture the stuff I really want to know.

Number four: if posting an item for sale, take a picture of the actual item you're selling, in halfway decent lighting. Do not use a stock photo.

One time I emailed a seller wanting to know something about a journal, if it was a particular size, I think it was, and the seller emailed me back repeating something idiotic that s/he had written in the description. I say idiotic because I wanted to know the dimensions, but not the way s/he had written them because the dimensions didn't make sense. *shrugs*

Half the time, that's why I pass on the auction. I also prefer "buy it now" and/or Paypal items. But you have to watch the shipping and handling charges. I nearly bid on a journal last night that I liked; the price seemed right--until I looked at the shipping and handling charge. The charge was going to be half the price of the starting bid! I ended up not bidding because that seemed ridiculous.

I have usually been satisfied by the things I've purchased on ebay. One time I bought a journal that I hoped would have approximately 400 pages, but it had only about 144 (I thought it was the same as one I had bought in a store; only in a different color). That was my fault for not asking, and the description didn't say how many pages it had. Another time I bought a journal thinking I was getting what was described, but it ended up not being not what was described. Silly me had forgotten exactly what I was supposed have purchased, and by the time I realized it was the wrong item, it was like two months later. What had happened was that the item's description said one thing, but the picture was another thing, and I got what was in the picture, not what was in the description. But like I said, it was like a month later when I realized my mistake, and it was only approximately $5, so it wasn't worth putting up a fuss over.

People should always check their descriptions for sense before hitting submit. Nothing worse than an excellent title description without a photo that makes it sound like a really great item, or just what I'm searching for, but when I click the item, it's nothing like what I was looking for at all. I hate those too, for making me click. I haven't shopped on ebay since earlier in the year. What I bought then were a couple of cheap journals with cheap shipping and handling. I absolutely HATE the listings that have an item for like 22 cents, and then the shipping cost is $20.95. And S&H on ebay is one huge scam anyway, because I know what it costs to mail something media mail, and it's only a couple of dollars--at the most--and I've shipped overseas and to FPO/APO boxes and here in the U.S.

If you're buying a book and the S&H is over a couple of dollars, go buy the book at the bookstore or check it out from the library.

Xmas, Already?

So I was putting DD to bed just a few minutes ago, and I came back downstairs to clean up the supper dishes and things, and I heard the Planters Peanut commercials, with the baby Mr. Peanut and Christmases past, with the song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," as the theme.

I could hardly believe it. I walked into the living room to look, and yes, it was *that* commercial. It's November 13th. There is still a week and a few days until Thanksgiving.

I am not ready for that most wonderful time of the year. I'm not even prepared for the cold weather. In fact, last week, we had a few 65+ degree days.

I noticed that there were a few commercials dealing with Christmas about a week or so ago; mostly they reminded people that Christmas was coming, and to be planning for gifts. I suppose that in another couple of weeks, we'll really be getting bombarded by advertisements.

I am cutting back this year on gift-giving. Last year, DD got so much stuff that we still have some toys that we didn't even open. (Plus, her birthday is a month after Christmas, so she gets more stuff then.) So, Santa will be bringing probably a few smallish gifts and clothes, because she's outgrown nearly everything. As for my other family members, I already told my sister and my sister-in-law that we're buying for the kids only, so that's four nieces and one nephew.

I went crazy last year trying to bake cookies and give them out to my family members and I felt so let down afterward—I know they enjoyed eating them, but my mom had also made a slew of cookies. And DD seemed completely overwhelmed with all of the stuff she received. I went shopping the day after Thanksgiving and spent too much money on junk and then felt major guilt for the rest of the year afterward. My post-holiday depression finally let up around February.

I don't want to have to feel like that again this year. I've already been planning the few gifts to buy for my nieces and nephew, so that I don't end up spending way too much money on something that ends up being crap.

I would like to enjoy the holidays this year instead of feeling like nothing is ever good enough... so I guess I should quit watching tv now, huh? ;)

NaNo Update

I'm excited the way my story is coming together. The writing finally feels less forced; all the pushing on through to the other side (aka typing no matter what the resistance is) has really been helping. I've been able to write a little over 8,000 words this weekend, breaking up the writing. I can generally push through 2,000 words in two hours, so what I did yesterday and today was write for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then for a couple more hours in the evening. It seems to work well.

What I need to do is write some wordage during my lunch break. I could probably bust out 500 or 600 words or more in that half-hour of lunch. And I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who would have thought last year that I'd be sitting at 34,000+ words at this position in the month? Last year, I barely broke 13,000 words, and that was generous, because some of that was just mind spew, and not on the story I was working on.

As I mentioned before, though, without my chapter breakdown, the writing would be HARD. No plot, no problem Nanowrimo may be, but this being my fifth year attempt, it has definitely been an advantage to have something to go from. I actually expect to finish this story this week (which was my main goal), and start another one. I may not get that second one completely finished, but I'll have a good start.

It's really nothing when you put your mind to it.

Productive!

Very productive day today. I made 20 artist trading cards; I'll try to scan some later. Even DD made one, with my help.

I wrote approximately 4000 words on my Nanowrimo story, bringing my total up to a little over 30,000. That means there are only 20,000 more words to go. Yay me. Tomorrow I'll try to do another 4000. What I did was write in two bouts today, from 12 to 2 and from about 7:30 to 9:30. I can write about 1600 words per hour, if I'm in a groove. I also took a nap today and washed a load of dishes in the dishwasher. DD and I played a few rounds of Go Fish.

I wish all my days could be as productive as today.

While I was working on the ATCs, I discovered that working on them fights the Crazies. Usually on the weekends, I feel like freaking out a lot of the time, or feel irritable. But today, I was creative, and ended up feeling accomplished rather than nutty. It feels good to get stuff done. And it feels even better to be over halfway finished with my Nanovel, even though I still have a long way to go. Oh, and that doesn't even count the fact that I have to majorly rework a chapter in the editing phase because my main character has to get pregnant, and she can't do that if she and her lover had protection. Hehe. And here I had been so concerned about writing that protection into the story. LOL

RIP

Jack Palance died today of natural causes. He was 87. Seems like he was 87 back in the 1980s when he was hosting "Ripley's Believe it or Not." I always liked him in that series. He freaked me out, actually. He seemed scary, and that persona went quite well with some of the topics of discussion on that show. I watched him win his ("gimme") Oscar for his role in "City Slickers," and the following year when he read Marisa Tomei's name for Best Supporting Actress. Everyone thought he was addled and had read the name wrong, but he didn't. He will be missed.

As will Ed Bradley, who died yesterday from complications of leukemia. He was 65. I have always admired his news stories. He would do the hard news and the fluff pieces the same exact way. I loved his interview recently with Bono. I think that you could see that he really enjoyed his work in all of the interviews he did. He also never seemed to come off as being a jackass, like so many reporters do when trying to get the hard questions answered.

They will be missed.

Thursday Thirteen—#13

Thirteen things to do online Write a blog entry. Read blogs. Read the news. Watch tv shows you missed. Play games. Search topics on things you've always wanted to know more about. Shop. Email old friends. Instant message other friends. Get stuck reading and answering questions on Ask Metafilter. Read about your favorite sports team. Look up weather forecasts. Pursue creative endeavors.

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The 20,000 Mark

Hit it tonight, writing 3057 words. Yay me. I finally finished that atrocious chapter four, in which the main characters get it on. I realized earlier today that the reason it took me like 8,000 words for that chapter was because I was avoiding writing the "jumping into bed after one meeting, especially since male got hit by female's car" scene. But I got through it, since DD had a Brownie scout meeting. I sat down at the computer at 6:30, opened a fresh file, and just started typing--for an hour, until I had to pick her up; then for another half-hour when we got home, because she went to bed as soon as we got home since it was past her bedtime. Some stuff will probably need to be added later on to that particular chapter, but I finally FINISHED chapter four. I got a good start on chapter five as well. Oh, and I was able to multitask, watching "Lost" and typing on my story during commercial breaks--of which there were many.

That episode of "Lost" tonight was a doozy. I was so dying inside when Sawyer and Kate were, ahem, doing the nasty, and then later, when she was begging him to fight, but he was just going to let the guy execute him--to save her. The two actors have great chemistry together. Unfortunately, we will have to wait until February 7, when new episodes are supposed to premiere, something like 16 new episodes without interruption or reruns, at least according to the previews. It sucks that it will take that long to come back on the air, but I hope it will be worth it.

NaNo Update

Way to go, me! I am up to 17,425, well surpassing last year's grand total of somewhere around 13,000. Here is a short excerpt of Chapter 4, which is turning out to be REALLY long.

Celia laughed.

"You are so pretty when you laugh," he said, looking at her intensely.

"Now you are hitting on me," she replied. "I think I'd better just sit over here."

"Oh, come on. You know you want to." He grinned mischievously.

"Who's to say that I'm not the serial killer?" She smiled back.

"Really. You could ravish me, then ravage me, and no one would believe that I got killed by such a beautiful woman."

"Oh, man, the shit's getting deep in here now," Celia said. But she got up from the chair and sat down on the bed, leaving plenty of room between them. Owen flopped back on the pillows, and she did the same. The tv's sound was low, and after a few minutes, Celia felt like nodding off. She rolled over on her side, facing Owen.

"I think we both know what we're doing here," she whispered.

"Oh?" he said, smirking a bit.

"Yes. I mean, in spite of the accident."

"Oh, in spite of the accident…" He reached for her hand, and she let him take it. He began to rub his thumb along the pad of her hand, and she felt shivers go up and down her spine.

"I shouldn't have come in your room," she said, moving closer to him, to feel his warmth. The air conditioner had finally cooled down the room, and now she was cold.

"Maybe you shouldn't have," he said, looking into her eyes. She could not take her gaze away from his. He moved closer to her, and now they were inches apart. She looked down at his lips. She could see his tongue every time he spoke, and she wondered what it would feel like to kiss him.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked. She nodded, and he took her in his arms, embracing her.

Celia had never been kissed like that before. Owen easily leaned in toward her, parting her lips with his tongue, and then she knew what he tasted like. She could taste a bit of coffee and cherry pie on his breath, but she didn't care. She kissed him back like it was the end of the world.

Finally, breathless, she broke the kiss. Below, she could feel what the kiss had done to him.

"Um," she sighed, looking at him once more. She reached up and caressed his face, feeling a day's worth of beard stubble under her fingertips.

"Um is right…" he said. "It's been a long time since I felt that."

"That? That what?"

"That kind of response." He grinned.

"Oh? Surely a hot motorcycle stud like you gets plenty of free sex whenever and wherever you want it."

He shrugged. "Not usually. I'm pretty picky."

"And tonight?"

"Am I going to get free sex?"

"Hehe. Nothing is ever free."

"Ain't that the truth." He paused.

So what do you think? :) (You can also read part of the first chapter here.)

I've Been Converted!

I don't like sports. I was forced to be in track and basketball in junior high, and I hated them both. I wasn't good at any kind of athletics. I used to think that most people who watch sports must have nothing better to do.

But now I find myself watching "PTI" (Pardon the Interruption) every day at 4:30pm on ESPN. (We watch it because it's just about the only interesting thing on at that time of day, when I get home from work.) Ick. I very nearly hate myself for watching a sports news program. However, it's like watching a blog. The commentators talk a little bit about every sport imaginable. I am able to keep up with sports news by watching PTI even though I hate sports. By watching PTI, I can at least appear knowledgeable, if I need to.

I even find myself sitting through nine hours of interminable football games on Sundays, because DH is a fan. His favorite team is the Chicago Bears. We follow the Indianapolis Colts occasionally. Since DH and I have few things in common, I try to watch and know what's going on so I can discuss teams with DH.

It's a huge turnaround for me, an avowed sports hater, to pay attention to sports news. Does that mean I'm mellowing out? No, I don't think so. I just know a lot of useless information.

Schadenfreude

Yet another evangelical Xtian pastor, supposedly (at least formerly) one of the most influential pastors in the entire United States, with the ear of the prez, was brought low this week. He was fired today by the board of directors that oversee his church. Just as former influential preachers like Jimmy Swaggart and Jim Bakker, this guy is alleged to have committed some "moral indiscretions."

I couldn't help but laugh at the man's plight. It's bad of me, I know, but who honestly comes to believe in these people? Sometimes I think that the certain sects look for charismatic leaders, willing to ignore certain behaviors, in order to gain converts to their sects. It's wonderful to find something to believe in, some kind of faith in this world. But when you put all your faith in your leaders, and then the leaders admit to some sort of moral failure, how do you go on? Is your faith shaken? Or do you realize that these leaders are human too? Do you find the next leader, who seems to be everything you were looking for? Do you reexamine your own imperfections?

I just don't think that I could put my faith in such a person, so completely. I know that a lot of these groups are out to make money. They see a populace looking for answers, and the tax-free status of churches probably attracts a lot of flim-flam men (and women). No one is perfect. I don't think church leaders have to be perfect. But if you are claiming to be a high and mighty, holier-than-thou, all sinners should go straight to hell and should never be forgiven kind of preacher, then practice what you preach.

There is nothing I can't stand more than a hypocrite, and I love to see hypocrites brought to their knees, especially hypocrites of faith.

You Can't Cure Stupid

Let me just tell you about my day.

It started out pretty good. DD got up early, but that was okay. I spent some time writing in my paper journal; then I took a shower. I still had to go shopping for a baby gift before that baby shower this afternoon. So DD & I got ready and went uptown to get the stuff for the gift. (I bought a blanket, some socks, a rattle, spoons, and a plastic wipeable bib.)

Then we went to the grocery store. I live in a small town, where the bag boys at the grocery store will still load your groceries into your car for you, IF you choose that option. I have shopped there for over 9 years without any problems. I usually end up shopping there once or twice a week. I carry my bags out if I don't have very many groceries, but today, I had quite a few, so I opted to drive up to the door and have them load my car.

It took all of two minutes to get in my car and drive back to the door. In that two minutes, they LOADED SOMEONE ELSE'S CAR WITH MY SIXTY DOLLARS WORTH OF GROCERIES.

IN TWO MINUTES.

I was spitting mad. Sure, mistakes happen, and I really don't blame the bag boy. I blame the dumbass in the SUV WHO PROBABLY DIDN'T EVEN GET OUT OF HER F'ING CAR TO CHECK AND MAKE SURE HER GROCERIES WERE GETTING PUT INTO HER CAR.

I was so angry that I couldn't see straight. DD & I had planned on going home and FIXING LUNCH with some of the groceries we had purchased. They were going to go round up all the groceries for me--again.

But that would have been pointless because I had already taken the last four loaves of sale bread off the shelf, and the last bit of pepper jack cheese they had available. So I told them to refund my money. It took about ten minutes for the cashier to refund my entire list.

We left, and I was still quite angry. So angry that when I came home, I had a breakdown. Thankfully, DH came home soon after and took my receipt back to the store and had them get all my stuff for me. However, they had to give us a raincheck for the sale bread because those were the last couple of loaves, and they gave me a $10 gift certificate for a future purchase because of the mistake.

I was like WTF? Apparently, this happens quite often at that store.

Guess what lesson I learned?

--Load my own groceries next time.

Hope that dumb bitch likes my orange juice, bananas, pepper jack cheese, and raisins.

Gawd, people are so f'ing stupid--especially around here.

Resistance is futile

Resistance to the blank page is strong this evening. I sit here watching the old "The Longest Yard," starring Burt Reynolds, with half my attention; the other half of my attention is on this entry. Wonder how much I will be able to get done? The dishwasher is washing a load of dishes. All the toys and junk on the living room floor needs to be picked up. I'll get around to it--eventually.

Tomorrow, DD & I will be going to a second cousin's baby shower. I haven't bought a gift yet. So, I guess we'll be going shopping beforehand. I should decide what to buy the baby, though. Otherwise, I'll end up going to at least three different stores, unhappy with whatever I end up buying, and having spent too much money.

This will be the second baby shower I've went to this year. My cousin is having a boy, so it should be easy to find something. But, I can't help but feel a little annoyed, because when I had my baby shower, she didn't buy me anything; instead, her mom put my cousin's name on "their" gift, and it was a cheesy plastic baby tub. LOL So, it's like, why buy her anything? But it's expected, so I have to get her something. I still have the baby tub. I never used it. I am considering giving it to my cousin, along with some other new stuff. :) That would be cheesy. Don't worry; I doubt I do that. That would be really cheap--and ungenerous.

So what would be a good gift? I was thinking maybe an outfit and/or some useful items like bottles or wet wipes. She is registered at Babies R Us, but I don't have time to drive 45 minutes to the closest one, and it's too late to order online. I'll just have to wing it.

For my friend's baby shower back in May, I got my friend a baby outfit and some bibs or something. I hardly remember. LOL She got so much stuff, it was insane. Baby showers can be like that.

I don't think I even used half the stuff I got at my baby shower, other than the blankets and onesies. Some outfits DD never wore because she was so tiny at birth, and by the time she grew into those sizes, it was the wrong season.

I think I'll get useful items. They'll get used and take up less space. I remember wishing that people had gotten me some diapers for DD at my baby shower. Diapers would have been way more useful than the baby wipe warmer I ended up returning to the store. :)

Thursday 13—#12

Thirteen Reasons Why My Hands Feel like jelly Wrote 3335 words last night (not counting 300+ for a blog post) Wrote 3107 words tonight (not counting 400+ for a blog post) Moused all day at work Too much clicking with the mouse playing Destructomatch II Wrote about five or six journal pages last night Threw the hard rubber ball for the dog to retrieve for about a half hour Carried a huge load of laundry to the basement to be thrown into the washing machine and washed Typed this TT entry Typed short forum posts Worked valiantly all day Used a fork to cut up a hamburger Petted both dogs for a half hour Moved washed laundry to dryer

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Sitting at the Blank Screen Is Terrifying

I have been waiting all day to be able to sit down at the keyboard, but now that I'm here, my mind has gone blank. Isn't that how it always goes?

I managed to write my first chapter last night on my NaNo work-in-progress. Yes, even through "Bones" and "Lost," I wrote 3335 words. Not bad for a first day's work. It took approximately three hours of almost constant typing. Creating is hard work. I took one break for about ten or fifteen minutes around 9 p.m. I'm lucky that DD goes to bed early.

DD has always been a pretty easy sleeper. She will tell me when she's tired, and practically beg to go to bed, like she did tonight. (Her usual bedtime is 7 p.m. or 7:30 p.m., sometimes earlier.) But, she was up early today, around 6 a.m., and I'm sure that going to school all day is tiring for her. Her perpetual cold isn't helping matters, either. She may have another loose tooth, so she hasn't been eating very well. Sigh. Poor kid.

Thank the gods it's Friday tomorrow! Another new episode of "BSG," and the weekend is completely free... the only thing I have to do is attend a baby shower for a cousin on Saturday afternoon... oh, and write my word count, of course.

I probably could have written faster last night if I hadn't been watching two of my must-see shows. I was multitasking, with eyes on the tv and writing with the hands. It's like turning off your monitor, except the monkey mind is kept entertained by what's going happening on the tv screen. Quite effective really, but I think it did slow me down a bit. Tonight I'm trying something different: listening to instrumental music. We'll see how that goes.

I'm still trying to figure out that episode of "Lost" anyway. As with the other episodes this season, I didn't think it was very interesting. Sure, we learned a few new things, but not much. And they killed off another character--in a particularly strange yet gruesome and gory way--one who didn't "repent" for his supposed sins. Same as with the character of Ana Lucia, from last season. *shrugs* All I can say is that it had better pick up, or I'll find something better to do on Wednesdays at 8 p.m.

I was looking at my list of 43things (over there in the sidebar) and realized that at the end of the month, I should be able to cross off several things on the list. That will be an accomplishment in itself, considering that I've had most of those things on the list for a long time, but haven't been working toward any of them. I'll feel great when I can mark some of them as done. :)

Baby Steps to Fight the Crazies—The Beginning

Wow. November first already. Where has the time gone? The weather sure does reflect November. It feels like about 27 degrees out there tonight. I let the dogs out earlier, and the sky was clear; the moon is nearly full. They rambled around the yard, while I stood at the door and froze my butt off. :)

If only that were really possible! Hehe.

This month is the start of a new phase in my life. Last month, I had the Crazies to an insane extent. Like the subtitle of this blog, it's time to get busy living or get busy dying. I feel like I've been dying for far too long. I have a whole series of goals that I hope to accomplish this month. But I am trying not to get overwhelmed. I am taking baby steps. First up, positive progress in NaNoWriMo. I have two different ideas outlined, so wish me luck. I plan to go week by week. This week, the little steps include paying some bills (instead of ignoring them until they're late), record my daily moods so I can keep track of how they fluctuate over the month, blog daily, reduce the amount of tv I watch weekly (9 hours on Sundays is so totally draining me!), and reduce the amount of sugar I've been eating lately (hard to do since we just got a ton of candy trick-or-treating last night).

So far so good, but it's only Wednesday. :) I also want to integrate at least three times per week exercising, but I have to find my walking videotape. It's somewhere around here. I always get these motivations close to the beginning of the month, but then my resolve falls away. I can't let the monkey mind break my resolve this time, because the Crazies are driving me nuts, and my family too.

Today I'm feeling pretty good, since it's the start of NaNoWriMo and I've been looking forward to NaNo for like two months. I put it on my calendar every year, and at long last, it's time to begin. So with that, I will sign off here and get to the "real" work. After I've gotten something written, I may post an excerpt.